Inauguro anchio il blog con un paio di affettuose considerazioni verso questo splendido liquame che mi ha saputo regalare momenti indimenticabili (uno in Finlandia a Oulu, il sottopalla della scandinavia e l'altro a Bratislava con Brisietto). Colgo quindi questa occasione, come mio primo post in un blog, con il conferire all'assenzio il premio come MIGLIOR UBRIACATURA DELLA VITA. Chi non l'avesse ancora provato dovrebbe farlo quanto prima! Magari con me, dai.
Ma ripercorriamo insieme l'esperienza dell'assenzio, passo-passo.
1)Acquisita una boccia di assenzio (rigorosamente all'estero, che costa un cazzo e lo trovi al minimarket sotto casa) procedi con l'aprirla e scoprirne l'intenso aroma. Il colore verde evidenziatore ne conferisce già all'impatto visivo, un aspetto poco salubre.
2) Giù col primo shottino. Gli spasmi facciali che ne seguono sono degni di nota e a tratti coglioni. Il 70% di volume alcolico si fa sentire. Sa di sambuca ma è meno denso quindi scivola giù meglio viakal style.
3) Il secondo shottino è altrettanto devastante, con poderose lacrimate e mugolii di dolore/piacere. Ma è quello della svolta. Al secondo shottino infatti il nostro corpo si è perfettamente abituato alla violenza della bevanda, non procurandoci più fastidiose contrazioni all'esofago. E si capisce che da adesso, uno shottino tira l'altro finchè...
4)Gli effetti. La particolarità dell'assenzio è che sei ubriaco dentro. Mi spiego meglio. L'assenzio non sembra intaccare i cinque sensi (sette, se sei un cavaliere dello zodiaco) quindi non barcolli, non vedi doppio, non sbiascichi e non sei triste/molesto, eppure la tua psiche è completamente ubriaca: ergo non capisci un cazzo. Tutto è molto pieno di colori! Il sorriso stampato e l'apparente lucidità ti permettono di stringere amicizie e mani altrui con non scialanz. L'energia vitale che si sprigiona è estremamente superiore a quella data da qualsiasi altro superalcolico in commercio e oggettivamente sei anche più figo di aspetto. Ti rendi conto che in realtà tutti ti vogliono benissimo e non esiste il male. La tua loquacità ne giova, e parli solo di cose interessanti. Anche se non avevi argomenti, l'assenzio te ne da, e ti da anche la capacità di gestirli con criterio!
5)L'hangover. Semplicemente non esiste! Il giorno dopo non accuserai alcun mal di testa (cosa che invece da la birra), alcuna nausea con conseguente PDC* (che danno i superalcolici scadenti, ovvero tutti quelli che ti danno nei locali/discoteche). Sarai fresco come una figa rosa e pronto a goderti il pomeriggio domenicale nel pieno delle tue facoltà piscofisiche o, perchè no, affrontare un viaggio.
*questa voce merita un approfondimento a parte in una categoria da decidere.
Commenti (5970)
Seguendo il tuo esempio dovrò presto fare un post analogo sulle meraviglie dell'Idromele...
Potremmo anche organizzare una competition...
09.03.07 19:08
Grande grandissimo esordio!
Per la prima volta sulle pagine di 2D2F, il piccolo Shai non delude!
Non posso fare altro che sottoscrivere, in quanto parter in crime a Bratislava, tutto quello che ha enunciato il Midigo nel qui presente trattato.
E che l'absinth sia con voi!
09.03.07 19:31
cribbio, uno al tavolo 77 !!
moka
09.03.07 20:07
Ire... niente highway speed bj e niente assenzio... essì che c'è la Fata Verde inside! in due giorni mio hai dato grandi delusioni. Non siamo più amiciche.
(nu dai)
(o frse è per i fiasco del nonno che traciso... che sbobba di merda)
09.03.07 20:28
p.s. in momento come questo apprezzerei tantissimo lo saper far lo rutto.
09.03.07 20:29
"5)L'hangover. Semplicemente non esiste! Il giorno dopo non accuserai alcun mal di testa (cosa che invece da la birra), alcuna nausea con conseguente PDC* (che danno i superalcolici scadenti, ovvero tutti quelli che ti danno nei locali/discoteche). Sarai fresco come una figa rosa e pronto a goderti il pomeriggio domenicale nel pieno delle tue facoltà piscofisiche o, perchè no, affrontare un viaggio."
Questo è il meglio....ma mi sa di cagata...
09.03.07 20:31
in due giorni cosa???????
moka
09.03.07 21:02
ma datevi una regolata al carburatore, tutti quanti.
hasta.
09.03.07 21:03
Cazzo qua urge un absinth party e poi FORSE saprete di cose stiamo parlando .. FORSE ...
10.03.07 04:05
there's trouble on the breeze.
10.03.07 10:15
Grandissimo !!!!!!! Io devo dire che il mio incontro con l'absinth non e' stato cosi' grandioso, penso perche' mi ha talmente disgustato al primo shottino che non ho avutro modo di raggiungere la "svolta" ....... il ricordo piu' vivo che ho associato a quella esperienza e' il bruciore di gola e che fuori dal locale (ero a Praga) faceva un freddo cane e veniva giu' una neve ....
11.03.07 21:07
Ma non avete notato l CHICCA vera di questo post?
"Sarai fresco come una figa rosa e pronto a goderti il pomeriggio domenicale nel pieno delle tue facoltà piscofisiche o, perchè no, AFFRONTARE UN VIAGGIO."
Questo sa troppo di servizio della rai!! ahahHAHAHAhahaha
15.03.07 10:38
è una vita che voglio provare Assenzio e Laudano (necessito medico ocmpiacente per questo...), nell'attesa mi sfaccio di grappa contadina.
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